Balance in life

Lots of changes happened at work in the last few months. Project changed; weird or secretive and uncomfortable working environment; people who have worked here for only 2-3 years left. It made me to think about all the negatives working here and wanted to leave too. But I am not ready to move again, only after working here for one year.

Last year was busy but fulfilling and rewarding. Assigned an important project and completed well. What's more important is I've built a collaboration relationship with all different kinds of colleagues, in a calm or stormy way. I survived well. I caught up with lots of CV knowledge different from those I worked on before; for which I am very proud of. I'm even more proud of myself looking at the qualifications of the applicants. Starting from unpopular range image processing, I broadened my knowledge base to widely popular and important CV topics while working at D. I must be smart and working very hard if not crazy. The key is to improve yourself everyday no matter where you are and what company you work for.

I felt discouraged and down when suddenly my colleagues left; I am now up to a good level to start working hard, making good contributions, and feeling good about myself. The IP application is really encouraging!

Positives working here:

1. good relationship with all colleagues
2. relatively flexible research environment, not demanding boss
3. chance to research advanced technologies, not only implementing existing approaches
4. good job for John

Negatives:

1. less drive and less focused on R&D from the management
2. the team hasn't been very productive

Frustrated

I don't feel your love of Tiffany when you yelled at her;
I don't feel your love of Tiffany when you frowned at her;
I don't feel your love of Tiffany the way you told her to stop crying;
Then I told you to shut up other than telling Tiffany to stop crying; say something creative, say something caring.
You've changed to someone I don't know any more. Is it all because of not enough XXX?
Why can't I say things repeatedly? Why can't I reiterate things I just said?
I have all the right to say the above. I don't care if you like it or now.
I won't say it not because you don't like it; but because I totally lost interest to say it to you if anything.

You are not patient now;
I don't feel your love to Tiffany and to me;
If I don't feel your love, I have zero interest to make it.

The simple happiness

I am happy because:
Tiffany starts eating apple now......
Tiffany starts to like eating apple now......

Back a few months ago, I felt bad about Tiffany not eating apple, not eating strawberry, not eating grape, not eating.... almost any fruit but banana, especially seeing other similar aged kids eating and liking it (even boys!). I don't want Tiffany to miss any GOOD thing in life. I want to do my best to let Tiffany enjoy all GOOD things in life; that's why I bought a big jar of chocolate from Costco. I set the rule to be eating one a day for her forgetting about she is only 2 years old. She likes chocolate too much so she wants more than one a day--who can blame a 2-year old? So the buyer-me was the one to blame, although out of good intention :-). That jar of chocolate ended up being hidden somewhere invisible to Tiffany.

I "blamed" my hubby for Tiffany not eating fruit; you don't like fruit, it's because of you! she inherited it from you!

I kept trying to "lure" Tiffany into eating fruit whenever I am eating and kept failing.....until a few days ago. It started with grape I was eating. I gave one to her, she put it to her mouth and got it out, looked at it and put it back again per my encouragement. And then it all started: she wanted more, ha ha! I found out she doesn't like big grapes, or big things in general. I tried apple the next day, and she was cautious at first--she is a cautious kid, in a very cute way in my eyes. Then I started making those apples into small shapes of apple--square, triangle, rectangle, circle--from a book she read and likes very much. She started putting those little apple shapes into her mouth, one by one and faster and faster. She ate almost half an apple the first time! That made my evening.

Taking care of kids require:

• LOVE
• patience
• wisdom
• problem solving skills, e.g. finding the cause, design the strategy, trials and error, tolerance
• people skills, e.g., understanding other people's pace, habits, tolerance, communicate with people that can't talk much

Tiffany has her own pace doing things; so a reminder is: don't push her too much (even good things) in the name of love! When she is ready, she is ready with enjoyment.

Long time no see

It's been almost 3 years since I post to this blog the last time. I'm back, yeah :-) Here are the updates of my life since then:

• my lovely daughter Tiffany is 2 years old
• both me and my hubby changed jobs and moved to the Chicago area
• sold the house in Indy and bought one here in BG
• sold the old car and bought a new one, love it !!
• went through some toughness this year but grew out of it stronger and more mature
• in-laws came to take care of Tiffany and left; spent good time with them with small glitches