Someone summarized the work life very well:
1. 10%的精力放在工作本身, 2. 50%精力放在提高自己的专业能力找下家, 3. 40%搞搞人际关系,不要闷头工作.
工作的目的:
1. 赚钱养家, 2. 积累经验, 3. 认识人好推荐.
千万别把同事当成朋友或自己人无话不说,一定会后悔莫及.
Monday, November 07, 2011
Friday, November 04, 2011
Books I wish I've read earlier
I've read a few business books recently that I felt I should have read earlier. Thinking back-- I've made so many mistakes dealing with people in my early career, but nobody at work ever told me that even in a criticizing way. I guess I was being naive and expected too much of a business/corporate world in U.S., especially in a bad economy. Nobody at work is your friend; your colleagues are there not to help you, but to work with you--for their own purposes. Life is cruel at work; there are many valuable lessons you have to learn by yourself. Nobody will warn you or teach you anything, not even the "nice" boss you thought at first.
People usually say your nice boss isn't your father; they only have time to deal with your work outcome, not to spend time mentoring you as your father. That being said, even my farther or mother didn't teach/mentor me anything since I went to college. Yes, I owe them for helping and sending me to college. I owe them nothing after that. Not on how to get most out of college life, not on how to succeed after failures, not on how to deal with unfair life......., definitely not on how to succeed at work. Our relationship kind of ended when I went to college and got worse after that.
I am not regret about what happened before. It is what it is. What happened makes the current and unique me: independent, quick learner, strong. However, I do want to have the opportunity to tell my daughter about my stories hoping they will be useful to her. I'll start compiling a book list for her someday to cover many aspects of life.
I. Business books
1. Robert W. Goldfarb, What's stopping me from getting ahead
2. Think like men, win like women
The lessons I learned at work from my own experience and from reading these highly useful books:
1. People skills and emotional IQ are the most important. Work is not only work, work is about dealing with people.
When starting in a new company, either at the entry or senior level, show respect to everybody and observe carefully first before speaking up, especially criticisms of the current system or the way people doing things. Observe how things are done in terms of people, procedure, dressing style and people's work habit, communication style, and personality. Eat lunch with colleagues and attend group events if possible. If handled well, all these lunch time talks and events will get things done at work for you.
2. Respect people and deal with them in their preferred way. Show that you care about them as individuals by asking about their personal life and share stories. Think in others' shoes and how to achieve win-win when conflicts emerge. Few people are evils; they just have different opinions.
3. Be a modest leader; praise your people and others. Involve people in decision making. They will be more willing to be hold accountable.
4. Behavior and attitude are more important than results.
To be continued.....Writing a book is not easy.
People usually say your nice boss isn't your father; they only have time to deal with your work outcome, not to spend time mentoring you as your father. That being said, even my farther or mother didn't teach/mentor me anything since I went to college. Yes, I owe them for helping and sending me to college. I owe them nothing after that. Not on how to get most out of college life, not on how to succeed after failures, not on how to deal with unfair life......., definitely not on how to succeed at work. Our relationship kind of ended when I went to college and got worse after that.
I am not regret about what happened before. It is what it is. What happened makes the current and unique me: independent, quick learner, strong. However, I do want to have the opportunity to tell my daughter about my stories hoping they will be useful to her. I'll start compiling a book list for her someday to cover many aspects of life.
I. Business books
1. Robert W. Goldfarb, What's stopping me from getting ahead
2. Think like men, win like women
The lessons I learned at work from my own experience and from reading these highly useful books:
1. People skills and emotional IQ are the most important. Work is not only work, work is about dealing with people.
When starting in a new company, either at the entry or senior level, show respect to everybody and observe carefully first before speaking up, especially criticisms of the current system or the way people doing things. Observe how things are done in terms of people, procedure, dressing style and people's work habit, communication style, and personality. Eat lunch with colleagues and attend group events if possible. If handled well, all these lunch time talks and events will get things done at work for you.
2. Respect people and deal with them in their preferred way. Show that you care about them as individuals by asking about their personal life and share stories. Think in others' shoes and how to achieve win-win when conflicts emerge. Few people are evils; they just have different opinions.
3. Be a modest leader; praise your people and others. Involve people in decision making. They will be more willing to be hold accountable.
4. Behavior and attitude are more important than results.
To be continued.....Writing a book is not easy.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Balance in life
Lots of changes happened at work in the last few months. Project changed; weird or secretive and uncomfortable working environment; people who have worked here for only 2-3 years left. It made me to think about all the negatives working here and wanted to leave too. But I am not ready to move again, only after working here for one year.
Last year was busy but fulfilling and rewarding. Assigned an important project and completed well. What's more important is I've built a collaboration relationship with all different kinds of colleagues, in a calm or stormy way. I survived well. I caught up with lots of CV knowledge different from those I worked on before; for which I am very proud of. I'm even more proud of myself looking at the qualifications of the applicants. Starting from unpopular range image processing, I broadened my knowledge base to widely popular and important CV topics while working at D. I must be smart and working very hard if not crazy. The key is to improve yourself everyday no matter where you are and what company you work for.
I felt discouraged and down when suddenly my colleagues left; I am now up to a good level to start working hard, making good contributions, and feeling good about myself. The IP application is really encouraging!
Positives working here:
Last year was busy but fulfilling and rewarding. Assigned an important project and completed well. What's more important is I've built a collaboration relationship with all different kinds of colleagues, in a calm or stormy way. I survived well. I caught up with lots of CV knowledge different from those I worked on before; for which I am very proud of. I'm even more proud of myself looking at the qualifications of the applicants. Starting from unpopular range image processing, I broadened my knowledge base to widely popular and important CV topics while working at D. I must be smart and working very hard if not crazy. The key is to improve yourself everyday no matter where you are and what company you work for.
I felt discouraged and down when suddenly my colleagues left; I am now up to a good level to start working hard, making good contributions, and feeling good about myself. The IP application is really encouraging!
Positives working here:
- good relationship with all colleagues
- relatively flexible research environment, not demanding boss
- chance to research advanced technologies, not only implementing existing approaches
- good job for John
Negatives:
- less drive and less focused on R&D from the management
- the team hasn't been very productive
Monday, October 24, 2011
Frustrated
I don't feel your love of Tiffany when you yelled at her;
I don't feel your love of Tiffany when you frowned at her;
I don't feel your love of Tiffany the way you told her to stop crying;
Then I told you to shut up other than telling Tiffany to stop crying; say something creative, say something caring.
You've changed to someone I don't know any more. Is it all because of not enough XXX?
Why can't I say things repeatedly? Why can't I reiterate things I just said?
I have all the right to say the above. I don't care if you like it or now.
I won't say it not because you don't like it; but because I totally lost interest to say it to you if anything.
You are not patient now;
I don't feel your love to Tiffany and to me;
If I don't feel your love, I have zero interest to make it.
I don't feel your love of Tiffany when you frowned at her;
I don't feel your love of Tiffany the way you told her to stop crying;
Then I told you to shut up other than telling Tiffany to stop crying; say something creative, say something caring.
You've changed to someone I don't know any more. Is it all because of not enough XXX?
Why can't I say things repeatedly? Why can't I reiterate things I just said?
I have all the right to say the above. I don't care if you like it or now.
I won't say it not because you don't like it; but because I totally lost interest to say it to you if anything.
You are not patient now;
I don't feel your love to Tiffany and to me;
If I don't feel your love, I have zero interest to make it.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
The simple happiness
I am happy because:
Tiffany starts eating apple now......
Tiffany starts to like eating apple now......
Back a few months ago, I felt bad about Tiffany not eating apple, not eating strawberry, not eating grape, not eating.... almost any fruit but banana, especially seeing other similar aged kids eating and liking it (even boys!). I don't want Tiffany to miss any GOOD thing in life. I want to do my best to let Tiffany enjoy all GOOD things in life; that's why I bought a big jar of chocolate from Costco. I set the rule to be eating one a day for her forgetting about she is only 2 years old. She likes chocolate too much so she wants more than one a day--who can blame a 2-year old? So the buyer-me was the one to blame, although out of good intention :-). That jar of chocolate ended up being hidden somewhere invisible to Tiffany.
I "blamed" my hubby for Tiffany not eating fruit; you don't like fruit, it's because of you! she inherited it from you!
I kept trying to "lure" Tiffany into eating fruit whenever I am eating and kept failing.....until a few days ago. It started with grape I was eating. I gave one to her, she put it to her mouth and got it out, looked at it and put it back again per my encouragement. And then it all started: she wanted more, ha ha! I found out she doesn't like big grapes, or big things in general. I tried apple the next day, and she was cautious at first--she is a cautious kid, in a very cute way in my eyes. Then I started making those apples into small shapes of apple--square, triangle, rectangle, circle--from a book she read and likes very much. She started putting those little apple shapes into her mouth, one by one and faster and faster. She ate almost half an apple the first time! That made my evening.
Taking care of kids require:
Tiffany starts eating apple now......
Tiffany starts to like eating apple now......
Back a few months ago, I felt bad about Tiffany not eating apple, not eating strawberry, not eating grape, not eating.... almost any fruit but banana, especially seeing other similar aged kids eating and liking it (even boys!). I don't want Tiffany to miss any GOOD thing in life. I want to do my best to let Tiffany enjoy all GOOD things in life; that's why I bought a big jar of chocolate from Costco. I set the rule to be eating one a day for her forgetting about she is only 2 years old. She likes chocolate too much so she wants more than one a day--who can blame a 2-year old? So the buyer-me was the one to blame, although out of good intention :-). That jar of chocolate ended up being hidden somewhere invisible to Tiffany.
I "blamed" my hubby for Tiffany not eating fruit; you don't like fruit, it's because of you! she inherited it from you!
I kept trying to "lure" Tiffany into eating fruit whenever I am eating and kept failing.....until a few days ago. It started with grape I was eating. I gave one to her, she put it to her mouth and got it out, looked at it and put it back again per my encouragement. And then it all started: she wanted more, ha ha! I found out she doesn't like big grapes, or big things in general. I tried apple the next day, and she was cautious at first--she is a cautious kid, in a very cute way in my eyes. Then I started making those apples into small shapes of apple--square, triangle, rectangle, circle--from a book she read and likes very much. She started putting those little apple shapes into her mouth, one by one and faster and faster. She ate almost half an apple the first time! That made my evening.
Taking care of kids require:
- LOVE
- patience
- wisdom
- problem solving skills, e.g. finding the cause, design the strategy, trials and error, tolerance
- people skills, e.g., understanding other people's pace, habits, tolerance, communicate with people that can't talk much
Long time no see
It's been almost 3 years since I post to this blog the last time. I'm back, yeah :-) Here are the updates of my life since then:
- my lovely daughter Tiffany is 2 years old
- both me and my hubby changed jobs and moved to the Chicago area
- sold the house in Indy and bought one here in BG
- sold the old car and bought a new one, love it !!
- went through some toughness this year but grew out of it stronger and more mature
- in-laws came to take care of Tiffany and left; spent good time with them with small glitches
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